In Katie's Eyes

In Katie's Eyes

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

National Adoption Month

I have been reminded that it is National Adoption Month and it of course makes me grateful for Katrina. I am soooo grateful for the miracle of adoption. To me it is one of the greatest expresssions of human love and selflessnes. The best moment in my life was with my husband when we met Katrina's birthparents V and K. Her birthfather V, handed her, the little bundle to me. It was so perfect. There were so very few words. But, so much was communicated. Through tears we said thank you. And they told us, "Thank you" over and over. I could see and feel and know the deepest love they had for her. They truly cherished us because we were going to care for her. Unknowing people have said it must have been awkward. But it was perfect and so full of love. So meant to be. We embraced and exchanged contact information. It was surreal. I play the movie picture by picture in my head. It was better than I could have ever dreamed it. Dave and I held our daughter in the family room in the hospital and replayed all that had just happened. We looked at her from head to toe and took her perfect little body all in. We bundled her up on that January evening, only her second day of life. Dave carried the bags. I carried our daugther out of the hospital. And, that is how we met Katrina.

I hope that anyone who is waiting doesn't stop believing. Please keep believing! All the lawyers and paperwork and Federal and State and agency policies that are so frustrating along the way, and even after the adoption are not really what it is about. Adoption is about the miracle of the best Love that humankind can express. I still marvel at it. I don't think that will ever stop.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Top Things I Love about my daughter

The top ? things I love about our Katrina - however many I get done until she wakes up from her nap.

1.She thinks everything is hers. Pretty typical toddler stuff. But it gets a little humorous when she starts pushing you off the toilet, saying, "my potty, me pee pee", even if you JUST LET HER GO before you. (At least she can be reasoned with - a little.)

2.Everything and Anything can prompt her to sing a song and then change her song to a different song mid-song. (A letter -The alphabet song), (a candle or fire - Happy Birthday,)the word "dear", or picture of a dear, (Oh dear, what can the matter be) You get it.

3.She lets us hold her before bed. And she has to know where everyone is and what they are doing, and that she will get to eat the next day, before she will settle down and get into her crib. Its kinda like this ....Katrina says, "Daddy, Popo, Tobey, cracker, cup." I say, "Daddy's going to go to bed soon. Popo and Tobey are laying down. You can have crackers tomorrow. Mommy will put your cup in the fridge for tomorrow." Then, she'll lay down and go to sleep. Just like that. I envy that her list is so short.

4.I still love how she holds "Hophop", her bunny.

5.Sometimes she has to sleep with extra things in her crib, like the last thing she played with. ie, ball-popper, big rubber balls, books, see-n-say.

6.In the morning, when she wakes, She throws, actually, chucks everything out of her crib. And then she calls for me or Daddy. If we don't answer right away, she calls for Tobey and PoPo, and then, Hophop who she just flung out of the crib.

7.I love still, when she waits to get our attention and then does things on purpose and then says, "oops" or "uh ohhh"

8.I love when we tell her she has to finish her dinner before she can have a cookie and she immediately calls, "Popo, Tobey" and looks at us so innocently as if we can't hear her or see what she is up to.

9.I love that everytime she passes flowers she wants to pick one. Sometimes we plan to give it to someone. Unless it is for one of her grandmothers, she changes her mind and says, "MINE" and "NO", when I remind her it is for someone else.

10. I love that she ALWAYS thinks I am funny when I laugh at my own jokes and she pretends to get all the jokes I tell her.

11. I love that she is concerned when other little ones cry.

12. I love how she is her own little person, already. She makes me beam.

Monday, September 8, 2008

"Sun, Sun Mr. Golden Sun"

I haven't written in a while. So now its all garbled thoughts... . Its been hard to write about Katie lately when i feel guilty that i am holding her up somehow with my aches and pains and even just the "sungarb" I have to wear to set foot outside. I just want to be free to write about her toddlerhood. I've concluded recently that I don't think 19 mo. olds experience seasons so often in their lives like we adults. When she feels the sun on her face or sees it in the sky, she sings, "Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me." And, she knows that Mommy is always willing to cuddle, just sometimes it has to be sitting down.

So, HERE'S TO the summer with Katie and swimming in sunhats and long sleeve shirts.

Leo made himself at home at the cabin and found his very own bed.

Katie making sure she is keeping up with her summer reading program.

The beginning of Katrina's modeling career.

In my Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Way back in April, We went to the Circus with Grandma and Grandpa. Here are the pics! All of Katie, of course.! Looking at them, I realize how much she has changed in just 3 mos.! Oh, and the guy in the last pic next to Grandma is not Grandpa. Katie just kept trying to play "beep beep" on his nose, so we caught him in a shot. :)

of tails and belly button stickers

Hi all,

Its been a long while!! I'll have to post some pics to catch up. We are on to the comedy of potty training. We have a book that Katie loves and she gets a sticker every time she "goes". There is a chart, but lately, she puts the sticker on her belly button, and securely pats her shirt down over it. She shows it proudly to anyone she thinks might be interested.

We have some equipment confusions as Katie wants to stand up and aim and has done quite well with this in the bath tub. She has also labeled daddy's "equipment" as "tail". Daddy says, Katie, tails are in the back." Ohhh, so many things to learn. We are trying to clear up some of these innocent misunderstandings before she is scarred for life.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


This post is ALL ABOUT my beautiful, amazing, kind, laughable, tender friend Kelli. She is a SURVIVOR. A FIGHTER. of the big C. in a BIG WAY!!! Like, if there was a content of survivorship and having to FIGHT, she's be at the top!!! She got some not so great news this past week, but she's picking herself up and her faith is helping her to carry on. To be honest, I want to cry, but I am not, Because this FIGHT is SO NOT OVER!!!! She NEEDS to know she is not alone. If you want to help her know she is thought of, visit her blog and just let her know. There will be more ways to let her know you care. I'll keep you posted.

My Link isn't working. Her blog is listed to the left of the screen as Kelli's blog.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Day

Katrina and Great Nana

Here's Katrina being the Easter "Ham"

We had a fun day yesterday. Daddy was sick, but Katie and I went to church and then got together with Grandma and Grandpa, Great aunt Peggy, Josh and Great Nana. We went out to a restaurant this year for an Easter dinner, which was a first. It was acutally quite relaxing and stress-free. (no cooking and no dishes, no crowding in the kitchen!) Being the only child, Katie certainly did NOT lack for attention and ate it all up. She is NOT shy when around people she knows!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

more fun with Cheerios

So, Katie was eating her breakfast and she pointed at the box of Cheerios. I said, "You HAVE Cheerios on your tray." She then looked at me and placed 3 Cheerios on her head.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Amazing Bond

I catch myself in utter amazement when I'm watching Katrina. Today, though, it was different. I wonder if all mothers feel it during the beginning toddler years. Its a separateness. I look at her and realize she is not me. She is her own person. More and More she wants to run away and play 'catch me'. and she wants to use her fork by herself. She needs to try to put her socks on before she'll let me help her. We're no longer as much one identity.

She crawls up on that couch. looks at me across the room. raises her arms in absolute delight! She DID IT! She is beaming! She knows she is separate and her little body is growing and can accomplish these big feats. New challenges everyday.

Our relationship now is like her favorite game of peek a boo. I'm there, but I'm not.

I am sooo much looking ahead for all that is to come. And I'm not really grieving for anything that is gone.

I am marveling as I realize my BOND with my daughter. I am in COMPLETE AWE. Perhaps I never believed we would ever feel attached in any physical way. But, as I so strangely feel this space between us now, its as if we once were.


I know It looks like she's just sleeping. But, really, She's GROWING!! And ... she's dreaming about all the hard playing she's going to do tomorrow!

A-toddling she is. There is NO denying. She has sprouted a few inches seemingly overnight. Her pants and jammies suddenly are too short and she's climbing up on the couch like its her job! If she ONLY knew she can't FLY off!! She is really earning her sleep these days. She just doesn't stop! She motors around sooo fast. Never walking, but pattering to her self-choreographed dance and the music in her head. She is just a BALL OF ENERGY!! Full of hugs and kisses and giggles and squeels. She is growing up so fast! I JUST LOVE IT and HER SOOO MUCH!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Notice Anything Different?

No, not just this silly face!!

Now, Can you guess?

Mommy did it all by herfelse! I learn so many haircare tips on the AA hair and skincare yahoo group. I NEVER thought I would cut my daughter's hair!! I have memories of MY mom using the "masking tape trick" to cut my bangs straight. But she cut Under the masking tape instead of above the masking tape, so then had to take the masking tape off my hair. OUCH!! I used NO such tricks!! Katie was not traumatized and we got rid of some split ends and fuzzies. But, I will miss these cute little ringlets.

Friday, February 15, 2008


Katrina recommends chocolate for teething. Really. You can almost see those endorphines in action! Just from one low-fat Oreo!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

Katie loves her hair right after her bath. She runs her fingers through it while it is still wet and the curls so smooth!! Baths make her soooo tired too!
This is what happens when Daddy and Katie get together. Silly Daddy!

Grammy and Grandpa N. sent this outfit JUST in time for Valentine's Day!! Always so thoughtful even though so far away!
Katie's hair is sooooo long now, I have to hold her front braids back with barrettes to keep them off her nose. :)

Thursday, February 7, 2008

the TOP 7 things I LOVE about Katrina. I of course, could go on.

When she gets up every morning, she waves out her window to the new day.

She dances to any music. She hear music in everything. - Even a handsaw going back and forth.

She squeals in glee and giggles contagiously when our "puppies" play.

Her newest game. She walks behind a chair then back out and says " - a- boo"

I love how she shakes her head to clack her beads together.

I love how she snuggles her "cuddle bear"

I love how she brings book after book to read with us and says "Mo" We think "More"?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


My SIL, Shelley from got me in a game of tag. I thought I was WAY faster than her, BUT, I wasn't looking. So, now I am going to get 7 of YOU!!! Here are the rules:
Once you are tagged, link back to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Post 7 random or weird facts about yourself on your blog.
Tag 7 people and link to them.
Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

My list of blogs tagged: Karin- LOTS oF things to do Here. Send Quilt Squares.... READ UP... (Jodie's Random thoughts) (I'm patient as Long as I don't have to wait for anything) (We are now 3) - Colette Sweetpeace - Sue

7 random or weird thoughts about me:

1. I am convinced that I will eventually have to be tube-fed. My food allergies are SOO ridiculous and keep getting worse. I cannot eat ANY raw fruits or vegetables, nuts, seeds. I get hives in my mouth and throat. So perhaps with tube-feeding, weight loss goals would be easier. :)

2. I get panicky feeling if I can't move for too long, like if Katie falls asleep on me in a weird position and its hard to get up without waking her. It makes me crazy!

3. I honestly need constant supervision for deadlines, but I work from home. (I'm learning to push myself a little.)

4. Unlike my SIL, who wasn't that sad when her dog died, (See, I have immense attachment and compassion for my dogs and always did. When in college, I applied my newly learned desensitization technique from behavioral Psychology to my dog and helped him get over his fear of the stairs. From then on, he slept upstairs, wanting to get on the bed with whomever. My mom was SO HAPPY with me for that.

5. I should be working right now, but it's Shelley's fault. She used to get in trouble for socializing too much in school AND at work.

6. I enjoy matching Katie's socks. They are really just so cute.

7. I think I would be a good Private Detective. I am very good at obsessing and have urges to find out the truth by stalking or any other means when someone is being wronged. (Ummm, NO I have NEVER done this.)

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Katrina had so much fun on her birthday last Friday! We went to the adoption lawyer's office. She played with all the attorneys and legal assistants - seriously. They were all ogling over her and gave her a full tour of the office. She then shut the door in all of their faces when she wanted our meeting to begin. (Shutting doors is one of her VERY FAVORITE things to do.) Then, Mean Mommy took her to her pediatrician for her shots. She made me feel badly, but was giggly and walking around as soon as we were back out in the waiting room. :) Then, of course the birthday weekend began. She's only celebrated with Mommy and Daddy and her 'puppy brothers' so far. But, cake is all she cared about. :) Julie

We're still here.

Ok, so Christmas has gone by... and YES, Katrina is now 1 year old!!!

Here are a whole bunch of pics! Random of course! :) Julie