"Sun, Sun Mr. Golden Sun"

I haven't written in a while. So now its all garbled thoughts... . Its been hard to write about Katie lately when i feel guilty that i am holding her up somehow with my aches and pains and even just the "sungarb" I have to wear to set foot outside. I just want to be free to write about her toddlerhood. I've concluded recently that I don't think 19 mo. olds experience seasons so often in their lives like we adults. When she feels the sun on her face or sees it in the sky, she sings, "Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me." And, she knows that Mommy is always willing to cuddle, just sometimes it has to be sitting down.

So, HERE'S TO the summer with Katie and swimming in sunhats and long sleeve shirts.

Leo made himself at home at the cabin and found his very own bed.

Katie making sure she is keeping up with her summer reading program.


The beginning of Katrina's modeling career.




In my Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Amazing Bond

I catch myself in utter amazement when I'm watching Katrina. Today, though, it was different. I wonder if all mothers feel it during the beginning toddler years. Its a separateness. I look at her and realize she is not me. She is her own person. More and More she wants to run away and play 'catch me'. and she wants to use her fork by herself. She needs to try to put her socks on before she'll let me help her. We're no longer as much one identity.

She crawls up on that couch. looks at me across the room. raises her arms in absolute delight! She DID IT! She is beaming! She knows she is separate and her little body is growing and can accomplish these big feats. New challenges everyday.

Our relationship now is like her favorite game of peek a boo. I'm there, but I'm not.

I am sooo much looking ahead for all that is to come. And I'm not really grieving for anything that is gone.

I am marveling as I realize my BOND with my daughter. I am in COMPLETE AWE. Perhaps I never believed we would ever feel attached in any physical way. But, as I so strangely feel this space between us now, its as if we once were.

Toddling

I know It looks like she's just sleeping. But, really, She's GROWING!! And ... she's dreaming about all the hard playing she's going to do tomorrow!

A-toddling she is. There is NO denying. She has sprouted a few inches seemingly overnight. Her pants and jammies suddenly are too short and she's climbing up on the couch like its her job! If she ONLY knew she can't FLY off!! She is really earning her sleep these days. She just doesn't stop! She motors around sooo fast. Never walking, but pattering to her self-choreographed dance and the music in her head. She is just a BALL OF ENERGY!! Full of hugs and kisses and giggles and squeels. She is growing up so fast! I JUST LOVE IT and HER SOOO MUCH!