In Katie's Eyes

In Katie's Eyes

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Amazing Bond

I catch myself in utter amazement when I'm watching Katrina. Today, though, it was different. I wonder if all mothers feel it during the beginning toddler years. Its a separateness. I look at her and realize she is not me. She is her own person. More and More she wants to run away and play 'catch me'. and she wants to use her fork by herself. She needs to try to put her socks on before she'll let me help her. We're no longer as much one identity.

She crawls up on that couch. looks at me across the room. raises her arms in absolute delight! She DID IT! She is beaming! She knows she is separate and her little body is growing and can accomplish these big feats. New challenges everyday.

Our relationship now is like her favorite game of peek a boo. I'm there, but I'm not.

I am sooo much looking ahead for all that is to come. And I'm not really grieving for anything that is gone.

I am marveling as I realize my BOND with my daughter. I am in COMPLETE AWE. Perhaps I never believed we would ever feel attached in any physical way. But, as I so strangely feel this space between us now, its as if we once were.