In Katie's Eyes

In Katie's Eyes

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

flu


An oldie, but a goodie. This picture always makes me smile. :) Today, I feel like I have the flu. I ache all over, head to- well, ankles. But, I don't have the flu. Its fibromyalgia, I am told. It stinks. I am sore. When Katie cries, I think, ugh, ow. And I feel guilty. I want to lift her high above my head and make her giggle, but instead I get her where she needs to be. I am just not as fun a mom during these spurts. I am really not quite settled with this. I have yet to say the words, "I have fibromyalgia." (That doesn't count). I have said, "I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. "Its the fibromyalgia", referring to pain and aches and forgetfulness. But, I'm still waiting for a better curable diagnosis, one that goes away. Granted, if I DID have fibromyalgia, it wouldn't be THAT bad! Its not a death sentence. I'm NOT really SICK. Its just sort of an invisible annoying condition? that i feel like i should just get over already. Half the time i try to convince myself its real while i'm educating those around me that really it makes sense that I have it. I couldn't believe it had a connection to endometriosis, an actual disease! Oh, well, yes, i recognize my issues. :) Julie

1 comment:

Sue said...

The mom guilt is always there in one way, shape or form. Katie loves her momma unconditionallly so cut yourself some slack and just enjoy some down time.

Hope you are feeling better soon.