Brown and Black

So, Katrina is continuing to understand and challenge her surrounding world and language. She is so keen and doesn't miss a thing. And soo talkative that we hear about it all. ;)

It has been fascinating to me to watch her language skills develop and truly see the world through her eyes. As we all know, children are ego-centric. Her first issue with the English language was gender. EVERY doll and stuffed animal she owns is a girl. She may name them after a beloved boy, such as Levi, but the doll remains "she". She used to relentlesly correct adults when they referred to her "Hop Hop" as "he". It saddened me a bit when she stopped correcting people. I guess she just gave up at trying to be heard. Or maybe she just thinks we are all nuts.

She has moved on to unraveling the terms, "black", "brown" and "African-American". She was barely 2 when she surprised me and Dave, announcing she was Black. We didn't quite know how to respond, as we hadn't really used that term yet. We said, "Yes. You are African American. Some people say "black". We had always talked about her beautiful brown skin. She has known her colors for a good long time. Perhaps it is societies' confusion she is stuck on now. So, now, seemingly, in an attempt to appease all the crazy adults in her life, she says, "black and brown". Neither black nor brown is an independent color. If something is of that particular hue, it is "black and brown". Perhaps there is even more insight or analogy in her exclamation the other day that I was "black and brown" like her because i was wearing a brown sweatsuit.

I don't know what is next, but i am sure she is going to keep us on our toes and make me rethink much of my world. Here, in my peach-skined, Euro-American self.

National Adoption Month

I have been reminded that it is National Adoption Month and it of course makes me grateful for Katrina. I am soooo grateful for the miracle of adoption. To me it is one of the greatest expresssions of human love and selflessnes. The best moment in my life was with my husband when we met Katrina's birthparents V and K. Her birthfather V, handed her, the little bundle to me. It was so perfect. There were so very few words. But, so much was communicated. Through tears we said thank you. And they told us, "Thank you" over and over. I could see and feel and know the deepest love they had for her. They truly cherished us because we were going to care for her. Unknowing people have said it must have been awkward. But it was perfect and so full of love. So meant to be. We embraced and exchanged contact information. It was surreal. I play the movie picture by picture in my head. It was better than I could have ever dreamed it. Dave and I held our daughter in the family room in the hospital and replayed all that had just happened. We looked at her from head to toe and took her perfect little body all in. We bundled her up on that January evening, only her second day of life. Dave carried the bags. I carried our daugther out of the hospital. And, that is how we met Katrina.

I hope that anyone who is waiting doesn't stop believing. Please keep believing! All the lawyers and paperwork and Federal and State and agency policies that are so frustrating along the way, and even after the adoption are not really what it is about. Adoption is about the miracle of the best Love that humankind can express. I still marvel at it. I don't think that will ever stop.

The Top Things I Love about my daughter

The top ? things I love about our Katrina - however many I get done until she wakes up from her nap.

1.She thinks everything is hers. Pretty typical toddler stuff. But it gets a little humorous when she starts pushing you off the toilet, saying, "my potty, me pee pee", even if you JUST LET HER GO before you. (At least she can be reasoned with - a little.)

2.Everything and Anything can prompt her to sing a song and then change her song to a different song mid-song. (A letter -The alphabet song), (a candle or fire - Happy Birthday,)the word "dear", or picture of a dear, (Oh dear, what can the matter be) You get it.

3.She lets us hold her before bed. And she has to know where everyone is and what they are doing, and that she will get to eat the next day, before she will settle down and get into her crib. Its kinda like this ....Katrina says, "Daddy, Popo, Tobey, cracker, cup." I say, "Daddy's going to go to bed soon. Popo and Tobey are laying down. You can have crackers tomorrow. Mommy will put your cup in the fridge for tomorrow." Then, she'll lay down and go to sleep. Just like that. I envy that her list is so short.

4.I still love how she holds "Hophop", her bunny.

5.Sometimes she has to sleep with extra things in her crib, like the last thing she played with. ie, ball-popper, big rubber balls, books, see-n-say.

6.In the morning, when she wakes, She throws, actually, chucks everything out of her crib. And then she calls for me or Daddy. If we don't answer right away, she calls for Tobey and PoPo, and then, Hophop who she just flung out of the crib.

7.I love still, when she waits to get our attention and then does things on purpose and then says, "oops" or "uh ohhh"

8.I love when we tell her she has to finish her dinner before she can have a cookie and she immediately calls, "Popo, Tobey" and looks at us so innocently as if we can't hear her or see what she is up to.

9.I love that everytime she passes flowers she wants to pick one. Sometimes we plan to give it to someone. Unless it is for one of her grandmothers, she changes her mind and says, "MINE" and "NO", when I remind her it is for someone else.

10. I love that she ALWAYS thinks I am funny when I laugh at my own jokes and she pretends to get all the jokes I tell her.


11. I love that she is concerned when other little ones cry.

12. I love how she is her own little person, already. She makes me beam.

"Sun, Sun Mr. Golden Sun"

I haven't written in a while. So now its all garbled thoughts... . Its been hard to write about Katie lately when i feel guilty that i am holding her up somehow with my aches and pains and even just the "sungarb" I have to wear to set foot outside. I just want to be free to write about her toddlerhood. I've concluded recently that I don't think 19 mo. olds experience seasons so often in their lives like we adults. When she feels the sun on her face or sees it in the sky, she sings, "Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me." And, she knows that Mommy is always willing to cuddle, just sometimes it has to be sitting down.

So, HERE'S TO the summer with Katie and swimming in sunhats and long sleeve shirts.

Leo made himself at home at the cabin and found his very own bed.

Katie making sure she is keeping up with her summer reading program.


The beginning of Katrina's modeling career.




In my Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
It puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

Circus

Way back in April, We went to the Circus with Grandma and Grandpa. Here are the pics! All of Katie, of course.! Looking at them, I realize how much she has changed in just 3 mos.! Oh, and the guy in the last pic next to Grandma is not Grandpa. Katie just kept trying to play "beep beep" on his nose, so we caught him in a shot. :)

of tails and belly button stickers

Hi all,

Its been a long while!! I'll have to post some pics to catch up. We are on to the comedy of potty training. We have a book that Katie loves and she gets a sticker every time she "goes". There is a chart, but lately, she puts the sticker on her belly button, and securely pats her shirt down over it. She shows it proudly to anyone she thinks might be interested.

We have some equipment confusions as Katie wants to stand up and aim and has done quite well with this in the bath tub. She has also labeled daddy's "equipment" as "tail". Daddy says, Katie, tails are in the back." Ohhh, so many things to learn. We are trying to clear up some of these innocent misunderstandings before she is scarred for life.

Kelli

This post is ALL ABOUT my beautiful, amazing, kind, laughable, tender friend Kelli. She is a SURVIVOR. A FIGHTER. of the big C. in a BIG WAY!!! Like, if there was a content of survivorship and having to FIGHT, she's be at the top!!! She got some not so great news this past week, but she's picking herself up and her faith is helping her to carry on. To be honest, I want to cry, but I am not, Because this FIGHT is SO NOT OVER!!!! She NEEDS to know she is not alone. If you want to help her know she is thought of, visit her blog and just let her know. There will be more ways to let her know you care. I'll keep you posted.

My Link isn't working. Her blog is listed to the left of the screen as Kelli's blog.